Tuesday, December 1, 2009

90 in 90

In the recovery program of which I am a member, I have heard that if a fellow has a slip and falls into relapse, his or her sponsor may recommend a drastic re-focusing called a 90 in 90: that is, 90 meetings in 90 days. I think the idea is that this level of intense immersion in the Twelve Steps can snap a person out of his denial of the disease and help him get back on track.

A dear friend of mine sent me an email on October 6th, the subject line of which read: “July 6th.” The body of the email simply said: “The date of your last blog entry.” followed by an encouragement to get on with it already! November 6th has already come and gone and still, life seems to be preventing me from sitting still long enough to do this.

It occurred to me a few days ago that, just as in recovery, the program has to come first. I can’t wait to “get around to” the activities that keep me connected to God and abstinent from compulsive eating. Likewise, if I really want the kind of spiritual connection to God that I experience through writing, the writing has to come first. “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others,” as they say.

Once I had made this connection between the spiritual disciplines of recovery and the spiritual rewards of writing, the phrase “90 in 90” sprang to mind. As if the thought didn’t come from me, I heard, “You need to do 90 blog entries in 90 days.” Blogger boot camp, as it were.

I found the idea immediately both appealing and terrifying. Could I pull it off? Could I write a blog entry—however banal or mundane—every single day for three months? When I couldn’t even keep it up once a week past January this year?!?

Still, I have learned in recovery to trust my gut. To prayerfully consider what seem to be direct communications from God and check them out with others. And guess what? Terrifying or not, this feels right.

You might be thinking, “Are you COMPLETELY insane? It’s the ‘holiday season!’ Isn’t life crazy enough?” You may be right (I may be crazy), but I recall that I started working my recovery program two days before Thanksgiving. I didn’t wait until after the ‘high holy days of gluttony’ to completely remove sugar and wheat flour from my diet, or to start precisely weighing everything that went into my body. If I can do THAT during the season of Whitman Samplers and Russian Tea Cakes, Honeybaked Hams and green bean casserole, this will be—forgive the food cliché—cake.

So off I go, now. This is Number One. Feel free to stay with me if you like, but if a daily dose of the nutty workings of my brain seems a bit much, just stop in from time to time. Or swing by in February to see if I’ve made it.



  1. I'm cheering for you! You can do it, Bek.

  2. Hey, I'm hpapy to see a new post! And I'm excited to see what comes of your "90 in 90". :)


  3. ^ Um, yeah, that should be "happy", not "hpapy". Me talk good English... *wink*